CRAP! MALARIA PILLS!

We totally forgot we needed them. When I asked around, some of my Indian brethren said - 'dude, you totally need that stuff. Plus, you should have started taking it 2 weeks ago!' Then there's the hippie camp which told me, 'bro, don't need'em ... too pricey. But get some immodium AD instead.' Huh??

Well, I think we may have to con somebody into hooking it up with the pills. Now, to prevent illness, we've pretty much resolved to drinking only bottled botter and beer (preferably more beer than not). Ah yes, and let's not forget that everything has to be cooked (I bet my raw vegan organic friends out there are falling out of their chairs).

Indeed, it's gonna be a test of wits out there to see which one of us can last longest sans illness. The real brain-teaser, is nonetheless, this whole beer-as-a-disinfectant business. From what I hear, beer will help clean the food in case it's lil' bit bad. Also, beer could be used to clean utensils, plates, etc. And finally, in lieu of cocktails with tainted ice, beer is no problemo. Now, the only problem, aside from being constantly drruunnkk, is what happens when we're wasted & hungry. I don't know about you, but after a couple pints of King Fishers, I won't have a clue if that chutney is cooked or not. Hence, a definite Catch-22 paradox.

The itinerary...

Land in Mumbai. Check out the Bollywood scene. Then head down to Goa to party with the Germans and Israeli's (how they get along down there, beats the hell out of me).

From Goa, we head into Kerala (which, I've been told, is simply magical).

Head back up to Goa and then fly to Jaipur. Check out the land of those famous warrior Sikhs.

From Jaipur, head West in direction of Pakistan to Jasilamere (maybe visit the Tiger Park from the Jungle Book), and follow up into Udaipur (remember Bond in Octopussy??).

From Udaipur, we head back into U.P. and directly to Agra (Taj Mahal), up to Delhi (visit friends of friends of friends ... it's like 7 degrees to Jesse & Erik). From there we hitch a plane ride to Varanasi for a tour through the Gats ... maybe take a little dip in the Ganges me-self (expect to see a radioactive Jesse upon return to LAX).

Back to Delhi and then that long plane ride back home...

Day: T minus 2, and I'm already sick. I can't believe it. I have not even set foot on the plane, and I'm already feeling like a got food poisoning. Maybe it's my bodies way of getting ready for the 'Dirty Dirty South', as friends of mine like to call it.

My fascination with India started at a young age. I'll be honest ... the first impression I had of India was via Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. What a crazy place, I thought. And though Spielberg did not help the image of the Desi in America much, it left embedded in me an intrigue with this country.

What a trip of a place it must be, I thought... not only do you have to worry about a billion people on a day-to-day basis, but there's the added complexity of oppressive weather conditions, nasty pollution, and animals ... animals, everywhere. I mean, you could be having dinner, and all of sudden an Elephant cuts in and snatches your curry-dog. Insane, I thought.

The sheer vastness of the country, its varied geography, and the culture shock of thousands of years of traditions matched against a hyper-ventilating booming urban society, is simply capturing. In short, to me, this country seems so polar. Very rural, yet very urban (home to two of the largest mega-polis' on Earth - Kalkotta and Mumbay). Staunchly traditionalist, yet very democratic. Peace of mind throughout its peoples, yet sheer madness in the streets. Home of Nirvana and the search for inner wisdom, yet a sensory overload everywhere you turn. Indeed, I've been looking forward to settling my intrigue with this country once and for all. To see first hand the splendor, the vastness, the impact, and the hope of the Nation of India.

So am I ready for India? Shit, homey ... India better be ready for me ...